why the fuck do we suddenly talk about money ?

When I was growing up we had nothing. We were constantly hanging on the edge of poverty. My mom raised us on  her own and with four children and a minimal wage it was hard. My grandma helped us, but every time she did she made sure mom would never forget it. But we were happy, because we had each other. My twin brother, my sister, who is a year younger than us and our little sister, who is five years younger. We were always Very close and always tried to help our mom. Especially us three, because our sister was much younger than us, she never felt the responsibilities we did, because she was just a kid. Something we had to give up pretty quickly. We would tell mom, that we don’t want to go on a school trip, just so she could save money, for food and clothes.

It was a little different for my brother and youngest sister. My grandma liked them more than me and my sister. She always had and she still does. In me she saw our father, who left us and spent time in prison, never to care for us or pay his alimony. She hated me for looking like him, acting like him for reminding her of the man who abandoned her daughter.

In my sister she saw our mother. Who at nineteen left her home for Prague and found a man who made her four kids, a lot debts and left. She dislikes my sister, cause she is so much like my mother. So it was a little harder for us two, but we still had each other.

Now, not so much. The youngest will be seventeen this year and she is growing up very differently than we did. My brother started working after he finished school and he earns a lot of money, he lives with his girlfriend. I got married, my sister still lives at home, but works he ass of so she could afford an apartment and move out.

The problem is, that my brother seems to have forgotten that we stared from nothing. He has money now. The middle class money. He is very mean to my sister, always telling her that if she worked harder she could afford a car or the apartment or whatever. He sounds like the kids who used bully us in school. He says the stuff they used to shout at us. He became what we always despised.

Now we talk about money. We never used to do that. That’s maybe the only perk of not having money, you don’t talk about it. Look at me I’m writing about it. I would never imagine myself writing about something so unimportant as money. But here we are.

He spoils my youngest sister. He does and it pisses me off. More than rich people we always hated spoiled kids and now my little sister is one of them. It’s different with me, because I do now have the middle class money, but it’s my husband’s money. What I’m afraid of is that, when I do start working and we will have more money than we do now, will I become a middle class asshole like my brother did? Why do people change like that? There is so much more you could have than money.






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