It’s hot outside. I can’t think, I can’t write. I’m working on a poem I can’t seem to finish. I spend my days watching TV or sleeping. I don’t want to go back to school. It is so difficult to write this, the heat is killing me. Just wanted to let you know I’m okay. I will write something once the temperatures drop. Can’t it be autumn already?!
Please tell me what I want to hear
I’ve been waiting for so long
I’m losing hope.
Please tell me what I long to hear
Even If you have to lie
I need to hear it
Or I’ll lose my mind
What if I swallow the last pill
and my soul dies trapped inside a body you didn’t like.
Look at my rotting corpse, see what your love has done to me.
Me and my husband have been married for three months and I can honestly say it has been the best period of our relationship so far. I am happy and everything is great. The only thing that worries me is that I know the bubble is gonna burst. I just don’t know when.
Yesterday me and my friend hang at a coffee-house and talked about her relationship. She and her boyfriend have been together for a year. Yesterday he told he that he loves her, but he doesn’t want to settle down. So right now they live together as friends with benefits. It is hard for her to leave him, even though I think that’s what she should do. She loves him so much she is willing to stay with him even though he doesn’t want to share his future with her. They were happy and then the bubble burst. Is it gonna happen to us as well?
Of course, they weren’t married like we are. That made me examine the married couples I know. My parents are divorced. I have two aunts who are trapped in loveless marriages. My grandparents are divorced. Most of my friends parents are divorced or separated. I know only one or two married couples that seem to be happy.
Is our bubble gonna burst? Why can’t we just stay in this moment, perfectly happy and comfortable. I don’t want to look at my husband and not seeing the love. What if I wake up one day realizing I don’t love him anymore. I can’t bear that thought. I will protect the bubble at all costs.
If I were a painter
I’d paint your face after we kissed
your flushed cheeks,
eyelashes so long they could touch the sky,
innocent mouth ruined by my cynical kiss.
I wish to paint the naivity of your love
to capture the expression of your face before you realize I’m gone.
© 2017 Carolyn Grimm
How are you today? I decided to shake things up a bit. I wanted to give you a break from reading my poems and heavy emotional stuff and write about the things currently on my mind and some ‘lighter’ stuff. Don’t worry I will still post my poems and writing, but I decided to make Sunday more casual and write about my daily life instead.
There has been a heat wave going on for about a week and I’m pretty tired because of it. Since I quit college last autumn I have been at home, recovering from depression and I’m starting to get cabin fever. I have been fine all winter and got married in May so I was pretty busy with the planning. However now I am starting to feel little isolated. I’m constantly at home, my husband travels a lot for his work, so I’m at home all by myself. Thank god for my puppy! without her I would go crazy!
I’ve also recently set up profiles on couple of social media for this blog.
On instagram I share the books I’m reading, inspirational quotes and adorable puppy pictures! My facebook page is mostly full of memes (hey, I’m a millennial). Follow my Tumblr for more poems and fangirling over Sebastian Stan. This is not the “official” blog page but If you love hockey follow me on carolkarose.tumblr.com
Now that the shameless self promoting is done I think I’ll go to sleep. I’ve been bloggin a lot lately and while I love it I need a little break. Enjoy your Sunday. Do what you love, write a poem, paint a picture or just stay in bed. Take care.
Over the course of my life I have met many people, none of them however changed my life and helped me find myself as the three I met in the summer of 2012.
I just turned 16 couple of months before the faithful summer. Me and my brother and sister had a group of friends whom we knew our whole lives. Em my brother’s girlfriend at the time, inherited a house after her mother died when she was little and this was the first summer her grandparents allowed us to use it. It was a big, beautiful but a little beat-up house.The furniture inside was relic of the 90’s with only three rooms fully furnished. The central heating didn’t work, the water was cold and we could only use electricity occasionally because it was expensive.
We loved the house anyway, spending most of our time there. We would throw parties and invite everyone who’d bring booze. As I said I only had a small group of friends, but that summer I met many new people. Among them was Dee. She and I became friends, she was like a breath of fresh air. I could talk to her about everything. She was free, talking about sex, smoking cigarettes and drinking on weekdays. I have lost my virginity the year before we met to a guy who never called me back afterwards, but I have never talked about sex before. With newly found confidence I started smoking, drinking and brought Dee into the house.